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For better or worse, I read a lot of theology. And, I admit it – for the most part, I really enjoy it. Part of the way I express, or make sense of my faith is to think and one of the things that helps me think about God is reading what others have thought. Much of my praxis has been shaped and reshaped by the writings and thoughts of theologians (some great, and some not so great). But, no matter how much I enjoy a good think session, theology does have some problems.

Theology, intrinsically, does not have a lot of comedic value. In fact, I think I might even be less funny after a few hours pondering the humanity of God with Karl Barth. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t deny that “double predestination” will always get a laugh or two – guess what? God knew you in your mother’s womb and decided right then and there you were good for one thing and one thing only: damnation and punishment in hell for all eternity. Ha ha ha. Man, I can’t even type that without chuckling inside. But, aside from Calvin, theology is not funny.

Problem #2: vocabulary. How many “ologies” can one person keep track of? Epistemology, soteriology, ecclesiology, eschatology, christology, ontology, whocaresology. OK, I get it – you know a bunch of words most people don’t care about. Good for you. And, while I’m here, one more thing – just cuz you can spell “efficacious” and “expiation” doesn’t mean you should use them conversationally.

And, chicks. Aside from mega-churches in Ballard, theology never gets you hot chicks.